I'm Tomi.

omg welcome to my website so glad you could make it!!!111!11!!111!1!!1! I'm the worlds first bitcoin multi-meganonillionaire, and a serial entrepreneur (seriously, I can't stop! ;)) I haven't eaten human flesh in a long time, so there's no need to worry! Your life is not in danger. In fact, I don't even know where you are! It's not like I'm giving cops access to your video doorbell feed just to spy on your yummy little feet. I don't even know why you would think that. Whoops looks like I just lost all my bitcoin. Wait... no. hmmmmmmmm ok false alarm we're BACK BABY!!!!

Anyway my lawyers are working hard but hardly working on anything important like figuring out how to get me that giant bouncy castle in my mansion and turn all my neighbors into those inflatable car flappy wind parking lot people. Instead they're doing things like "preventing me from getting sued" or "making sure the IRS doesn't have enough money to go after me", boring nonsense. At least one of them gave me a free lolipop once.

I gotta go back to hoppin on that grind and posting my thought-leader megathoughts on twitter and making thirst-trap content on tiktok though. My people need me, otherwise they're never gonna be 10x developer entrepreneur influencer fintech brogrammars like me. Seeya!!!